The reading from the handbook today made reference to the dichotomy between internal and external discipline. Indeed, we can see this dichotomy play out in many areas of our life. In some cases we can point to times and seasons of our own experience, in which external discipline was applied to us and that experience helped us to become more, inwardly, disciplined. There is one common area of life that this dichotomy is relevant to all of us and that is the life of prayer.
In the Christian life of prayer there is a certain tension between the command of Saint Paul to "pray always," and the need that each individual has to have specific times of prayer during the day. The latter discipline, adhering to a schedule, a rule of prayer, is essential to every one of us and it must be, at the outset, imposed from the outside. This does not necessarily mean that someone else has to determine our schedule of prayer and what prayers we will say every day. No, rather, it means that we must decide ahead of time what we are going to do, and, with that firm decision, carry out the program as decided. For this process, one of the most beneficial things is to sit down and write out what we are going to do from day to day in our life of prayer. If we do this, our rule of prayer takes on a reality it did not have before. It becomes separate from us, outside our mind. Once it is outside our mind, it is objectively real. It ceases being simply one of our ideas. It becomes our judge, because we are now in the position of either abiding by it or disobeying it. When it is written, outside our minds, sitting on the table or readable on a screen, it becomes an external source of discipline.
But, on the other hand, there is always the command of St. Paul, "pray always." So, we have our rule of prayer that we have definitely decided on, and we put it into practice, but what about "always." Yes, according to the teaching of the Holy Apostle, we have to find some means to live consciously in the presence of God throughout our day, every moment, inside and outside our pray times. This we learn to do slowly, quietly, perhaps over many years, in which prayer is allowed to fuse with our work, and conversation with God goes on through all our circumstances, even in the midst of what would have been distractions to our earlier selves. At the point that we become used to St. Paul's ideal of ceaseless prayer, the greatest temptation arises. We can find ourselves saying, "I pray always, so it is not so important for me to fulfill the things that are written in my rule." We begin to cut back the rule for the sake of other things (interpersonal commitments [so-and-so needs my help to do x, so I will not be able to do certain parts of my prayer schedule], work obligations, even health). The invariable result is wondrous indeed, even if in a very dark manner. The habit of ceaseless prayer diminishes within us and eventually goes away. It needs the support of those periods of concentrated prayer that are provided by the external rule. It is similar to the case of written language. Words strung together have dubious meaning or no meaning at all as long as they are without punctuation. Only when punctuation is added does the whole sentence come together in coherency and indubitability.
We have to seriously apply ourselves to fulfilling St. Paul's command to pray always, but it is best if we know from the outset that this internal discipline will only be possible for us if we have the external discipline that is provided for us by a rule of prayer. I encourage all of you to sit down and with prayer and reflection draft such a rule. Yes, by all means "tweak" it over time if it proves to be too heavy or too light, but otherwise abide by it every day. It is the sine qua non for any further advancement in the spiritual life.
No comments:
Post a Comment